Santa's Gatoraide
(a mostly true story)
'Twas the night before Christmas
and all through the 'hood,
not a creature was stirring,
it was quiet as wood.
When all of a sudden
as I was counting sheep,
the dogs went ballistic
and kept me from sleep.
"Now Baxter, now Khan,"
I said in a rage,
"if you don't keep it down
you'll be sent to your cage!"
But the barking continued,
then they scratched at the floor,
and I began to wonder
what could make them so sore...
So I gathered my courage,
and spied through the doors,
and you'll never believe
what gave chase on all fours.
Now Rudolph is one thing,
and I believe in the elves,
but if I hadn't seen this
I'd not believe it myself.
A mostly true story, Khan and Baxter Dooley, circa 2000.
This creature was livid
and sharp with his word.
Speaking fast with an accent,
yet I know what I heard:
"You beasts! You unhand me,
or you'll never again see,
not one single Christmas
with bones under the tree!"